


not another porn movie

by thunderylee



Category: Japanese Actor RPF, NewS (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Porn Store, Romance, lots of sex talk but no actual sex, side ryo/kusano
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-25
Updated: 2009-12-25
Packaged: 2019-01-31 05:26:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12675300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderylee/pseuds/thunderylee
Summary: It’s Christmas Eve at the AV store.





	not another porn movie

**Author's Note:**

> reposted from agck.

“ _Hello_ ,” the persistent voice pulls Koyama from his thoughts, startling him enough to upset his glasses. “Can I have some fucking service here?”

Koyama swats at the ‘customer’, continuing to stare unseeingly at the TV mounted on the ceiling, his eyes drawn to the flickering light. “Are you actually going to _buy_ something this time?”

“Pfft,” Kusano scoffs. “That would imply I have money.”

“McDonald’s is hiring,” Koyama helpfully tells him.

Kusano laughs and hops up on the counter. “I’m too pretty for manual labor.”

“Get off the glass,” says Koyama tonelessly.

Surprisingly the younger man obliges, tilting his head to study Koyama in concern. “You okay? I seriously doubt the climax of Titty Titty Gang Bang is as heartfelt and life-changing as you’re making it look.”

Koyama focuses, then rolls his eyes at the adult video that would have made him horribly blush two years ago. “I’ve been working here too long.”

“It’s Christmas _Eve_ ,” Kusano says pointedly, spinning around the rack of specialty films. “You should close the store. Nobody wants porn on Christmas Eve.”

As if on cue, the door jingles in warning. Kusano pretends to be interested in an interracial movie while Koyama tries not to look smug, calling out a happy welcome that sounds very out of place in this kind of establishment.

Koyama’s been told not to look at people who have just walked in because it makes them uncomfortable, especially the women. He doesn’t think he’s _that_ creepy-looking, just a little nerdy with his longish hair, black-rimmed glasses, and a complete lack of style. He’s tall and lanky, the last guy anyone should be scared of, even in a dark alley, but those are the rules when he mans the store himself.

“Oh _shit_ ,” Kusano breathes, breaking the air as he catches sight of the newcomer. “Baby, you’ve got it mixed up. This is an AV store, not a brothel.”

“Fuck you,” a familiar female voice spits out, and Koyama’s eyes dart up to look at his part-time help – a cute university student named Erika – shrugging past him and adjusting the front of her strapless top as she glares at Koyama. “Why is he here?”

“I have no idea,” Koyama answers honestly, his nerves on end as he takes in her outfit. “Aren’t you cold?”

“I’m pissed off is what I am,” Erika says heatedly as she unhitches the swinging door to join Koyama behind the counter, her twisted pigtails bouncing angrily. “You can leave with him if you want. My plans got canceled so I can close up tonight.”

“‘Leave _with him_ ‘,” Kusano repeats, making a face. “You act like we have a thing or something.”

Erika turns to look helplessly at Koyama. “Make him shut up before I punch him.”

“My man wouldn’t like that very much,” Kusano goes on. “He doesn’t like to share me with anyone, even slutty uni girls.”

Koyama considers covering his ears. “I have already heard more than enough about _that_ , thank you very much.”

“What, you can _intently_ watch an orgy in public but can’t handle the thought of me riding a fat cock?” Kusano frowns. “Homophobe.”

Erika laughs. “You forget, I used to date your ‘man’. It’s not that fat.”

“Maybe you’re just too loose,” Kusano shoots back without missing a beat. “There’s a reason he turned to men after you.”

“Stop!” Koyama raises his voice, making an X with his arms. “Kusano, either buy something or leave. Erika-chan, go home. You’re not scheduled tonight.”

“But-” they both start to protest.

“I heard enough arguing on Christmas Eve at home while I was growing up,” Koyama tells them. “I don’t want it as an adult, too.”

Kusano has the decency to look ashamed. “Fine, I’ll be nice to her.”

“And I’ll just hang out,” Erika adds, perching on the stool next to Koyama. She sways playfully against his arm and offers a little smile. “We can play ‘to catch a predator’ together.”

Koyama chuckles at the thought; they’ve spent many nights making fun of the more _discreet_ customers, trying to decide what kind of fetish they have before they get to the counter. The one who gets the least has to disinfect and restock the returns. “Do you really want to spend Christmas Eve at work?” he asks her.

“It beats sitting at home and feeling sorry for myself,” she answers with a shrug. Her top starts to come down again and she rushes to fix it while Koyama purposely looks away. “Douchebag. I was going to put out, too.”

“Clearly,” Kusano inputs, his eyes locked on her cleavage.

“You are the worst gay man ever,” Erika tells him.

“Hey, we _love_ boobs,” Kusano says defensively. “It’s the rest of it that’s gross.”

Resigning himself to yet another night of his authority being ignored, Koyama steps into the back room and emerges with his sweater. He tosses it at Erika and tries to look nonchalant. “Put this on.”

Erika wrinkles her nose. “I am not wearing this gay sweater.”

“I wouldn’t even wear that sweater,” Kusano chimes in. “And I wouldn’t be seen with either of you in it.”

At that, Erika quickly pulls it over her head. “Bye,” she says pointedly.

Kusano sputters, looking like it pains him to look at her. “But there’s a _snowman_ on it!”

Leaning his elbows on the counter, Koyama rubs his temples. “I’m going to take inventory while it’s slow. Call for me if anyone actually comes in.” He lifts his head enough to eye them both. “And don’t kill each other.”

“Okay,” they chorus, both smiling innocently at him.

Koyama doesn’t have to close himself in the office to do paperwork, but it’s much better than being out in the open with them. Usually he can handle their bickering but not tonight, not when it’s such an emotional day and the object of his affection is dressed like _that_ right in front of him. Koyama’s had a crush on Erika since before it was legal, although over the years it’s become less of a crush and more of a pathetic yearning, borderline obsession (Kusano’s diagnosis – he has a friend who’s a psych major). She of course knows nothing, treating Koyama just like she would any other male friend, and Koyama fears that he’s fallen too far into the ‘older brother’ role to stand a chance now.

Not that he ever stood one in the first place. He had been in university when he met her, a quiet lit geek who would rather read classic novels than watch people fuck. With no people skills and no retail experience, the only reason he’d gotten the job is because he could watch people get naked and have sex without getting aroused. It’s not exactly a talent, but it put him through school.

Two years later, Koyama has his degree and a full-time position as assistant manager. Or ‘ass man’, as Kusano likes to call him. Koyama’s known Kusano forever, the two of them best friends despite their four-year age difference. They had grown up with a third K who’s currently drowning in final exams, definitely the more ambitious of the trio. Kato is going to be a lawyer, Koyama manages an AV store, and Kusano lives off of his sugar-daddy boyfriend, the musician whom Erika had been dating when she started working here less than a year ago. Barely twenty, the last thing she wants is something serious, being somebody’s wife barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. She’s loud and opinionated, brutally honest and outgoing, her Osakan nature shining through with nearly everything she does.

Inappropriate too, as Koyama emerges from the office to a serious discussion about anal sex. He starts to put a stop to it, cringing at the thought, but then he realizes that it’s not exactly a taboo topic in a place like this, and above all else they’re actually _not fighting_. Erika is asking questions and looks genuinely interested in Kusano’s answers, which are accompanied by rewinding and zooming in on a particular scene in Buttman and Throbbin’ that has Koyama wanting to bleach his eyes.

The door bangs open but only Koyama looks up, sees a familiar face sneer at them all, and settles back to watch the sparks fly. “What the _fuck_ , Hiro?” Nishikido Ryo roars, so much rage pouring out of such a small person. “I sent you out for smokes an _hour_ ago.”

Kusano visibly shivers, the lecture forgotten. “Got sidetracked.”

“Liar,” Ryo snaps. “You just like to piss me off.”

A wide grin forms on Kusano’s face. “Only when you punish me.”

Koyama tunes it out as yet another movie soundtrack, just in time for Ryo to cross the room and grab Kusano by the collar, crushing their mouths together. It’s like a car crash the way Koyama’s gaze is locked on them, helplessly watching his childhood friend get devoured by the usually soft-spoken lounge singer in the middle of his store. Ordinarily he would intervene but Kusano’s desperately clawing at him, trying to pull him closer while Ryo keeps him at a distance. His punishment, Koyama supposes.

A glance to the side shows Erika looking bored, narrowing her eyes in confusion at the buttsex that continues on the TV like she doesn’t understand the semantics of it. Koyama hopes upon hopes that they’re not about to get a live demonstration for her education.

Thankfully Ryo pulls away, smirking at Kusano’s whimper as he smooths the other’s hair down. “Let’s go home, baby.”

“Yes, Ryo-sama,” Kusano replies obediently, something akin to stars in his eyes.

That piques Erika’s interest, and Koyama can already see her storing blackmail material for the next time they have a run-in. “Finally found someone you can order around, huh Ryo-chan?” she asks sweetly.

“Erika,” he acknowledges her flatly. “Nice sweater.”

She huffs as they leave, Ryo gently guiding Kusano with one hand on the small of his back. Koyama has so many questions about their relationship that he’s pretty sure he doesn’t want to know the answers to, ever, his attention wandering towards the shelf of hardcore kink movies in the back through the sparkly-beaded doorway.

“People are weird,” Erika assesses, and Koyama can’t agree more.

Hours go by and they sit in comfortable silence, a few customers coming in for last-resort “dates” but nobody particularly skeevy. One of them looked at Erika for too long and Koyama smacked his purchase on the counter, pointedly wishing him well and glaring at him until he left the store. Obliviously Erika continued doing her homework on the far counter, bopping her head in time to the musical score from I Cream of Genie.

When the sun starts to rise, Erika hops up to sweep the floor and straighten the shelves despite being off the clock. Koyama lets her, because with this one it’s easier to let her have her way instead of defending himself when she challenges him. It’s what basically ended things with her and Ryo, while at the same time being the main reason that Koyama is attracted to her. Someone like him needs a strong, confident woman, he reasons. They’ll never get anywhere if he dates someone like himself.

“Want some coffee?” Erika asks, making him jump as the shift’s totals swim before his eyes. “You look tired.”

“I am,” Koyama admits, pausing to rub his eyes. “My sister is in town with the kids, so it’s hard to sleep during the day.”

“I live by myself,” Erika tells him. “You’re welcome to crash at my place if you need some peace and quiet.”

Koyama shakes his head and offers her a grateful smile. “Thanks, but I’ll be fine. I’m off tomorrow night.”

“That’s sweet,” Erika coos. “Do you have plans with your family?”

“Something like that.”

She stares at him for a second, like she’s trying to figure him out, then presumably she gives up and skips to the door. “I’m going to Starbucks.”

Koyama is just finishing his paperwork when the door chimes again, but it’s not Erika. “Good morning, Sunshine!” booms a loud, nasal voice.

“Nice of you to be on time for once,” Koyama mutters. “Is that my Christmas present this year?”

Nino grins at him with the energy of someone who hasn’t been to sleep yet. “Boss’ privilege. What the fuck are you watching?”

Squinting, Koyama looks up to see two girls going at it by a pool. “No idea. Erika picked last.”

“Erika?” Nino asks, his face lighting up in interest at the mention of his youngest employee. “Is there something she’s not telling us?”

“I tell you you’re an asshole all the time,” Erika speaks up from behind him, nearly making him jump. “Thanks for leaving the door propped open, _Boss_.”

A cup of steaming hot latte is placed in front of Koyama, who claps his hands and bows his head. “You’re the best, Erika-chan.”

“I know,” she replies with a sleepy smile. “Can we go now?”

Koyama cautiously takes a sip. “You could have left hours ago.”

“I’ve been here this long, may as well wait until you’re done,” Erika says logically. She packs up her books and stands by the door, coffee in hand.

Nino looks back and forth between them, looking like it’s killing him to not say what Koyama is sure is on the tip of his tongue, but all he does is pop open the register to count the till and ignores them both.

“Merry Christmas,” Koyama tells him politely. “See you in a couple days.”

Something like a grunt sounds from Nino, who disappears into the back to count the safe. He’s impossible to talk to when he’s got his mind on his money.

Koyama gestures for Erika to leave first and follows her out, wondering what she would do if he guided her by the small of her back like a lot of boyfriends do. Probably turn around and slap him, or tell him off in front of the early-morning joggers and dog walkers. He wouldn’t have the nerve to make a move like that anyway.

They get halfway down the street before she really does turn around, but she’s making a triangle out of her fingers and covering her mouth with guilty eyes. “I have a confession to make, Koyama-kun.”

“O-okay,” Koyama stutters, wondering if there’s a bench close enough for him to collapse on when his knees give out from the shock.

She takes a breath, her air completely opaque in the cold winter air as she exhales. “I didn’t really get stood up last night. I never had plans to begin with, other than going to work.”

Koyama blinks. “Huh?”

“I wanted to spend Christmas Eve with you,” she says slowly, looking like she’s struggling to meet his eyes. “I knew you wouldn’t let me work. It would have probably been better if I said something before now, but Kusano was there and it would have been awkward and just… I like spending time with you.”

“Why?” Koyama asks, the first thing to pop into his head. “I’m not interesting at all.”

Her punch to the arm only hurts a little. “Oh, shut up. I don’t like uninteresting people.”

Koyama really does think he’s going to lose his balance now. “You like me?”

“That’s what I’m _saying_ ,” Erika says exasperatedly. “Are you usually this girl-stupid?”

“Yes,” Koyama tells her honestly. “How long have you known me?”

“Long enough to figure out that you don’t pick up on any signals.”

Koyama feels like he’s been knocked over, actually leaning on the windowsill of the store they’re standing in front of to keep his equilibrium from turning completely upside-down. “I don’t understand.”

Instead of responding with words, Erika stands on her tiptoes and kisses him. The feel of her lips against his is awakening, jolting him out of his exhaustion and leading him to slip his arms around her, pulling her close and holding her tight. She feels good in his embrace, warm and lively with enough initiative to reach up for his face and tilt his head, licking between his lips before slipping her tongue inside.

It’s quite possibly the most erotic thing Koyama has experienced, and he works in an AV shop. He’s not a virgin, surprisingly, but it’s been a long time and he doesn’t remember this feeling of possession washing over him before. Erika is the kind of girl who invokes his masculine instinct to protect, while at the same time she’s already so assertive and independent that he’s not sure if he’ll have anything to protect her _from_.

“Understand now?” she whispers against his lips, and all he can do is nod as she gives him one more kiss and pulls away completely. “Come on, let’s go sleep. I have an electric blanket.”

It’s tempting, but even though the muddled clarity of his brain Koyama’s more concerned with the implications of this arrangement. “Erika-chan, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Erika rolls her eyes and puts her hands on her hips. “Koyama-kun, I have seen enough AV movies to completely ruin the appeal of casual sex for me. All I’m offering you tonight – this morning – is _sleep_.”

Koyama frowns, even as Erika laces their fingers together and gently urges him in the direction of her building. Reluctantly he follows, his desire to be with her outweighing his conscience, and the next thing he knows he’s in her bed with her in his arms, snuggled beneath the warm blanket in her brightly-colored apartment that reflects her personality.

True to her word, all they do is sleep, and Koyama leaves her later in the day with a kiss and a date for tonight. It’s not the most exciting ending but to him it’s more like a beginning, which will gradually work its way up to its own climax, hopefully after a lengthy build-up and actual plot. Unlike the movies he’s paid to watch nearly every day, Koyama’s story isn’t just going to cut to credits immediately following orgasm. He’d be fine with them waiting, actually, because even though he’s ridiculously in love with her, the last thing he wants is a relationship primarily led by primal feelings.

It would probably be a pretty boring movie to anyone else, but lucky for them, it’s not for sale.

> _bonus #1_

“I found him!” Erika squeals. “I found my replacement.”

Koyama looks up from the rental list, looking over the rim of his glasses at the pretty, buff man who’s trailing behind his girlfriend like a lost puppy. “He’s supposed to _sell_ sex movies, not make them.”

“I’m flattered,” a raspy, deep voice replies, and Koyama stops his shiver before it starts. “But I’m a photographer.”

“He’s _perfect_ ,” Erika goes on excitedly. “When I showed him the test clips, all he did was point out where the camera angles were bad or how the lighting could be fixed.”

She places his application in front of Koyama, but he only looks at the top line. He trusts her judgment. “All right, Yamashita-kun, you start tonight.”

“Yay!” Yamashita declares, pumping his fist in the air. “I get a discount, right?”

Koyama’s smile wavers. “Thirty percent off purchases and free rentals. But I thought-”

“My roommate will be so happy,” Yamashita interrupts, bouncing a little as he grins at them. “He’s basically a sex freak.”

Koyama feels a headache coming on, but luckily the new guy picks things up fast and treats them all to donuts in the morning. Nino loves him.

> _bonus #2_

When Erika calls after her first full day interning at an advertising company, she sounds like she can barely move. “It was _horrible_ , Kei-chan. My feet hurt from these shoes and they kept wanting me to _do_ stuff and everyone was dressed so nicely.”

“That’s what happens when you go corporate,” Koyama teases her. “Should have stayed in the slums with me.”

“That’s not all,” Erika goes on, lowering her voice. “All I could think about _all day_ was the plot of Ejaculate Decisions.”

Koyama bursts out laughing. “There was a plot?”

“I swear it’s the _same copy machine_! I kept getting an urge to sit on the glass.”

“You’re ruined for conventional thinking,” Koyama points out. “I can’t wait until you start designing ad campaigns.”


End file.
